Saturday, January 22, 2011

The Choice of Gossip




"Whoever gossips to you will gossip of you." - unknown

"Gossip often veils itself in acceptable conventions such as "Have you heard..." or "Did you know...?" or "They tell me..." or "Keep this to yourself, but..." or "I do not believe it is true, but I heard that..." or "I wouldn't tell you, except that I know it will go no further." Of course, the most infamous such rationalization in Christian circles is, "I am telling you this so you can pray."- R. Kent Hughes

Again another thing I've been guilty of in the past, often with "good intentions." I have been the gossiper and the one gossiped about. The first is just a sense of pride which really is all about justifying how much "better" you are, the second just really hurts once you find out. I think to myself how much more respectable to go to the person you've assumed something about, rather than tell others what they may or may not be guilty of. How much better to conceal a matter until you can address with with a person who has actually wronged you for sure. While gossip seems innocent enough it eventually turns into slander.

I am encouraged lately to be a man that goes directly to someone, to speak the truth in love, and to find out the truth in a matter. Likewise be willing to listen if I've offended someone knowingly or unknowningly and admit to my faults or explain my sincereness about knowing or not knowing. I'd encourage my readers to do the same. How much more power and peace in an approach that avoids gossip by honoring the other person.


Proverbs 26:20 (HCSB)
20 Without wood, fire goes out; without a gossip, conflict dies down.

Proverbs 17:9 (HCSB)
9 Whoever conceals an offense promotes love, but whoever gossips about it separates friends.

Really good video by Mark Driscoll titled "Don't shoot at other Christians" , really applies to life in general, what happens when we assume and dine on gossip with others.
Proverbs 18:8 (NLT)
8 Rumors are dainty morsels that sink deep into one’s heart.
Posted by at 8:49 AM

3 comments:

  1. I have a hard time with this. I don't like to gossip, but I like to vent. Maybe that's the same thing. It's bad either way and its something I am working on overcoming. That first quote is so true! I have found people who gossip (myself included here) about others are probably gonna gossip about you too. Why not?

    Personally, I think this festers from my own insecurities. I feel worthless sometimes so I want others to be portrayed that way. Or I feel less than so I want others to be where I am. I don't know...its such a horrible thing when you actually sit and think about it. I have trouble facing conflict too...another reason to gossip. It's easier to vent to your best friend than to deal with a person you know isn't gonna like what you have to say.

    Good points J.

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  2. So very true. I have been one to "vent" or out of my own insecurity seek advice or clarity from someone else as opposed to facing confrontation. Never really thought of it as gossiping, though it's really all the same, isn't it? Even if bad intentions weren't there it can still be harmful. Thanks for sharing. This is great insight :)

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  3. Passivity is something I deal with so often. As I've matured in my faith vie gotten better but it will always be a thorn in my flesh. Confrontation doesn't have to be hostile , it can be done respectfully and in friendship. How much better to refuse to dine on a person in gossip circles. We often assume with our arms folded rather than give the benefit of the doubt and ask to talk to the person. I think when I gossip I then refuse to let grace work, and puff up with pride on how much better I am. Thanks for the comments Andrea and MB.

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